About KillerTakes.com


What is KillerTakes? 

A website.

How did you get here?

I paid WordPress $100.

Will your takes be worth my time?


The Gates of Time:

Wealth-X calculated that a certain Microsoft Corporation Founder made $11.5 Billion dollars in 345 days of the year 2013. When you divide and conquer the basic mathematics, Bill Gates made about $23,148 dollars per minute.

Suppose that after pulling out of the parking lot of the Wendy’s where you had your lunch break,  you realize that you accidentally forgot all of your cash. If your time is valuable enough to the point where it makes more sense to trek on to work to continue making money, rather than turning around to retrieve the cash, your time is too valuable in worth to read these takes.

What is the story behind KillerTakes? What caused you to start KillerTakes? What brought you here?

Have you ever noticed how the Sharks always ask these type of questions to the business owners on Shark Tank, and every answer is the same: the business owner/inventor was doing some stuff, thought ‘there must be some sort of gadget that makes this better in whatever way, researched market products, asked themselves “how the hell does this invention not exist yet?” create their revolutionary thing, and now are fucked because they didn’t know shit about running a business, and are starting to realize that their invention is not a revolutionary market necessity, but in fact is, at absolute best, something that is ‘neat.’

KillerTakes is like those inventions. Do we have unattainably high expectations? Absolutely. Will you actually die from the frigidly cold or searingly hot take–because it was just THAT revolutionary? Unless you are in really poor health, live in whacky climates, and have a really loose definition of ‘revolutionary,’ probably not. We can, however, guarantee the same caliber-level takes as Shark Tank inventions that receive numerous offers, or get absolutely shut down. One or the other. I am usually either stunningly correct or lack the circumstantial awareness to realize that my takes are flawed.

How is this not a thing: