We here at KillerTakes pride ourselves on our masculine manliness because we're really insecure about our potential femininity we have suppressed deep down, but what the Tonight Show did on yesterday's episode was so cute that it makes a newborn baby kitten look repugnant.
Vegas TV Reporter Arrested for Public Masturbation–Claimed That He Was scratching a Crotch-Rash that was “Itching Terribly.” Either Way it’s Gross.
Unfortunately for this reporter, Randy Howe (AKA Handy-Randy), you don't need fancy police forensics to tell the difference between stroking and scratching motions. Plus, the cop's have the bar's surveillance footage that shows Howe unzipping his pants and straight up cleaning his pipe.
Here are a Bunch of Tweets from an Account I hate and By the End of This, I Hope You Share my Feelings
There is a reason so many people are haterz...it's because it's a lot of fun.
Not Clickbait: These Fish are So Bizarre that They Make Reading This Blog About Fish Surprisingly Entertaining
^Don't want to mislead you, but the deep ocean is an asylum of fish craziness
Gloria is Definitely-Probably-Possibly Whose Dying On “Modern Family” Next Season
It's definitely-probably-possible. That isn't not-not incorrect for sure.
Have you Ever Heard a Parent Shrieking Outside of a Burning Building Their Child is Trapped in And Felt Urged to Help? Too bad.
Sucks to Be You; You'll never have the glory of saving a baby from a fire.
CDC finds that Puppies caused spread of infection–Would you risk these symptoms to play with the pups?
Would you trade a little infection to play with these puppies?
Brown’s 21-17 Win Over Jet’s Solidifies that Cleveland Fan-Base Sucks, Arguably the Worst Fans in All Sports
Brown's fans don't deserve a good team
Sarah Jessica Parker is Viciously Countersuing Claim that She stole $150,000 of Jewelry
If SJP loses she'll be forced to pay 150,000-- only 0.1% of her net worth.
BREAKING: Student Discovers Legacy-Altering Subliminal Message(s) in the Spider-man Trilogy After Watching All Three In a Single Sitting
Student's Subliminal Message Theory has been Confirmed by Actor Tobey Maguire, changing Spider-Man's legacy forever. Viewer Discretion is Advised.
A Ghost Haunted Annasophia Robb (AKA the chick from “Soul Surfer”) and it Definitely Wanted to Bang Her
It kept trying to get her naked.
Diabetes Medication Found to Cause Flesh Eating Disease in Worst Possible Place to Have Flesh Eating Disease.
You wish it was your legs.
20-year Study finds link between Forehead Wrinkles and Heart disease–A List of Celebs Who Should go to the Cardiologist
These French Scientist's just made half of the world panic when their 20 year study found that prominent forehead wrinkles is tell-tale sign for cardiovascular disease. So yeah, thanks for making everyone ever think they're going die soon, assholes. Anyway, here's a list of celbrities who should maybe go to the cardiologist for a well-visit.… Continue reading 20-year Study finds link between Forehead Wrinkles and Heart disease–A List of Celebs Who Should go to the Cardiologist
Other TV Series Will Finally have a Fighting Chance as Game of Thrones Will Not be Eligible for the 2019 Emmy’s
Most blogs about TV shows, movies, books, porn, etc., begin the blog by telling the reader what the thing they're writing about is. But if you need someone to explain what Game of Thrones is to you in 2018 you might want to just check into a psych ward because you're too far gone. The… Continue reading Other TV Series Will Finally have a Fighting Chance as Game of Thrones Will Not be Eligible for the 2019 Emmy’s
Jealous Husband didn’t want wife Taking Photo with Jason Momoa (AKA Khal Drogo and Aquaman); the Resulting Photo Tells you Why
Anyone in The World Could Have Guessed That This Fan Photo Would Go Viral
Holmdel Highschool Catches SuperIntendent Defecating on Track and Field, quickly nicknamed ‘Principal Pooper.’
Talk about a crappy situation.
LADIES: Here is The Perfect Tinder or Bumble Bio
Rape jokes never work.
Overweight North Americans: Here is Why You Should Stay Fat for Your Health
SHOULD READ: We endorse KillerTakes, Not KillerTakers...(of lives).
Did Luis Perdomo Just become the Biggest Coward In All of Sports?
You don't normally here "We got a runner on the mound." Cant imagine how much of a little pre-teen he'll feel like when he's sitting on the bench watching the game he is suspended in....I suggest he just throw some booze in his mitt and call it a day. Though I am pretty sure this… Continue reading Did Luis Perdomo Just become the Biggest Coward In All of Sports?
E. None of The Above:
Had to include something scary in one of the posts. Should you watch? If you answered none of the above, I don't know what to tell ya...you just have a really specific subset of the horror genre that you like. You god damn nerd.
D: Not a Jump-Scare Lover:
Should you watch? YOU MIGHT LIKE IT, BUT I WOULDN'T RECOMMEND IT. I wouldn't really say this show is for you. I mean, you might like the story-line and drama between characters, but pretty much every really scary scene doesn't deal with any American Horror Story type stuff or not even like that Silence… Continue reading D: Not a Jump-Scare Lover:
C: JUMP-SCARES ARE OKAY:
Should you watch? THIS SHOW WAS MADE FOR THIS TYPE OF HORROR WATCHER. Oh this for sure....this is your show. If you like a nice slow burn that builds up intensity to get the heart pumping and finally give you that scare you're looking for, this is all you. Also, I learned the term… Continue reading C: JUMP-SCARES ARE OKAY:
Should you watch? Fuck no why would you ever watch something you know you're going to hate? Why did you even take this quiz? No, you shouldn't watch Netflix's new Horror series that is known for how terrifying it can be.
A. Yes: WHY HAVEN’T YOU STARTED YET?
Watch it. You and this show will get along like peas and carrots. For people that love watching Horrifying things, it's hard to believe that any type of cable series could pull it off--especially because American Horror Story was and is a complete atrocity, There really isn't anything that is teeth-chattering scary while actually having… Continue reading A. Yes: WHY HAVEN’T YOU STARTED YET?
Netflix Needs To Learn From HBO, Getting Rid of Free Trial Option Won’t Fix Anything
1st of all, who in the hell is still signing up for a free trial for Netflix. Hasn't everyone used up their allotted one month by now? If Netflix really wants to make more money, they're going to have to figure out a way to only allow the people that paid for their subscriptions to… Continue reading Netflix Needs To Learn From HBO, Getting Rid of Free Trial Option Won’t Fix Anything
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